Monthly Archives: November 2006

Crankiness

Background: For the past few days I’ve been receiving phone calls. Not phone calls from friends or family, but phone calls in which the caller says hello and goodbye or the caller just hangs up. It started with my cell phone and progressed to my home phone. I know the source, and the only thing I’m going to say is this: STOP IT. Don’t act so childish. Or, if English isn’t your thing: Halten Sie es auf. Seien Sie so kindisch nicht.

So anyway, the latest crank phone call came from Germany. Yep, you read that right. Germany. I guess the caller’s family doesn’t have anything to do but waste money on long distance, see-if-she-answers phone calls to the states.

Nicht ganz dicht! Lass mich in Ruhe, Arshloch!

If you knew that you could die today
You saw the face of God and love
Would you change
Would you change

If you knew that love can’t break your heart
When your down so low you cannot fall
Would you change
Would you change

How bad, how good does it need to get
How many losses, how much regret
What chain reaction would cause an effect

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Be Thankful

“When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup.” -Sam Lefkowitz

“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” -Frank A. Clark

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” -Albert Schweitzer

“Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.” -Unknown

“Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day, which must be done, whether you like it or not.” -James Russell Lowell

“Things could be a lot worse, the stress of the situation always could be worse, but I am alive and I have a lot to be thankful for – so I shall not waste my days with stress and frustrations – Life is too short! ” -Catherine Pulsifer

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Doris Day

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” -Meister Eckhart

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -Epicurus

“When eating a fruit, think of the person who planted the tree.” -Vietnamese Proverb

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you’?” – William Arthur Ward

A friend’s reference.

I asked a friend if I could use her as a reference for a job in which I wanted to apply. She agreed and I received this in my email shorty thereafter:

“Yeah, Cap’n Stooby…um, I mean, M…is really fuckin’ cool. Whenever I skip work she’s really cool to hang out with. She throws really great parties, too, man…oh, the last one, we were up on the roof, and then blowing these fireballs….I was soooo wasted…wow…I threw up so much. Oh, but that’s not to say she isn’t smart. She’s really computer savvy. We email each other all day long at work. Sometimes I wonder how we get any work done at all. And she’s great at figuring stuff out, too–great problem solver. When we were snowboarding once, snow kept getting getting stuck to her binding, and she figured out to get some nasty ass gross pepperoni and rub it on there so the grease would keep the snow from sticking. Nope, nothing gets in her way.”

Snowboarding Immortal

*Rule #1: Your head is not an emergency brake.
*“Now I know how people die in this shit.”
*“Oh, fuck you! Fuck you and your flow bindings!”
*Mota!!!
*“Well, here we go.”
*Lower Wildcat…sitting down…backwards.
*Just you and the snow.
*“If you want to call it a night that’s cool with me.” “Uhh…okay!”
*Intermission.
*Pulling flask from coat: “No, this is how you do it.”
*Monday: “I need to run home and get my stuff.” Tuesday: “My shit’s already in the car.”
*“If you catch the back edge of your board…well, just don’t catch the back edge of your board.”
*Mohawk hats.
*Getting hit on by boys.
*“I can’t believe they gave you a 152.” “Shit, I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
*Never underestimate the power of the Lancer.
*Snow falling around you as you ride the lift through the silent woods.
*“There’s no snow; it’s down to the concrete. Oh, wait…that IS the snow.”
*The Pile septic truck.
*Hat envy. (Before the silver and red one.)
*Kate the comet.
*Using pepperoni to lube up the binding to keep snow from sticking in it. (ed note: I Macgyvered the hell outta that!)
*Barcardi 151 and homemade honey liquor.
*“Nice lederhosen!”
*Running over the back of the ski patrol guy’s ski.
*“Every hero needs a sidekick, dude.” 

Wisdom

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, worry, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, humor, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”