Monthly Archives: July 2008

Memos

To: My enthusiasm to write
Re: Disappearance

You’ve been gone for a while. At first I though you may have taken a vacation, but now I’m worried you won’t ever be back. Please return. I miss you.

To: The neighbors who purchased “Rock Band” for the kids.
Re: Hilarity and sleepless nights

After hearing horrific versions of a few common songs*, I understand why you made the kids play this game outside. Not only is the noise keeping me awake, but so is the uncontrollable laughter brought on by your kids’ lack of talent.

While part of me wants the kids to never sing again, another part wants this occur every night so I can invite some friends over, roast marshmallows, and laugh.

*It took us well into the third minute of each song to determine what song it was. And before that, it took two songs to discern between a) animal in pain, b) retarded moose in heat, or c) human chanting/moaning/screaming in a vain attempt at singing.

To: Umi
Re: Sushi

You’ve been closed way too long. Please open soon.

To: The Universe
Re: Lately

WTF? I’m just sayin’

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A Comment on Leda and Katie

http://ruffian706.blogspot.com/2008/07/leda-and-katie.html

Nicely put. I’ll retell the human interest story posted by volunteer Betty, who helped this man who came in to surrender a cat.

Sometimes we get cats for good reasons. Sometimes we get cats for bad reasons. Take poor Leda, for example — dumped for a baby. That is a bad reason. Or the 15 year old cat dumped by his newly retired owners because they wanted to travel.

SO this little old man carrying a big cat carrier comes to the shelter. When asked how he could be helped, he asked where he could turn in his cat and then burst into uncontrolled sobbing. The very pregnant cat had been coming to his porch for daily feeding. And he was feeding her well. He was was 88 years old and knew he could not take care of her and her kittens.

He then proceeded to say that he had spent four years in a concentration camp and had seen the bodies of his family thrown into a truck post gas chamber to be taken to the cremation ovens. He was terrified the cat was also going to be gassed.

Volunteer Betty was so overcome that she could barely tell the colleagues his story. She assured him that he had taken very good care of her and now it was our turn to take over for him. She had to fill out the papers for him.

I’m sad to hear that no one offered to have Mommacat spayed and returned to his care. I’m even more saddened to know that Mommacat was probably deemed a feral, and therefore unadoptable, and killed. Not gassed, because even the ARL has standards, but killed nonetheless.

This has been a tough, tough summer, and it’s only halfway over. If anyone has any extra paper towel tubes, towels, hard plastic cat toys, small cardboard boxes (like what bottled water comes in), cat food, rooms in their home for a cat to spend a week or two, a few hours to help a short-staffed kennel, or money, we’d greatly appreciate it.

*BOOM*

*dusts a place to sit*

Jeez. Someone could’ve cleaned up a bit while I was gone…

It’s been a while. And it was a holiday weekend. A holiday weekend with an extra day off, which I spent with friends and family in Cleveland. It was a busy day, but as most Independence Day celebrations do, it ended with a bang.

So, yeah. Um, fireworks are illegal. Fireworks are dangerous. You shouldn’t buy them, or transport them, or even look at them. They’re illegal, even if you have an electronic ignition system. Il. Legal. Illegal. End of statement. Don’t buy them and don’t use them. We didn’t.

But if you use your imagination, the day probably ended something like this:

AK: *dragging a couple hundred dollars of nightly entertainment into the field next to the house*
Neighbors: *lighting something that makes machine gun noises, as they have been doing for the past hour or so*
Neighbors: *lighting something that whistles and flashes in the air*
Us: Um, ok.  
Neighbors: *lighting something else that makes noise and flashes*
Us: hmmm… boring
AK: *walks out into yard where board is set on the ground, roots through box, and sets up something.*  Ready?
AK: *lights something that makes some lights and noises and is louder than the neighbors*

Repeat for a while, until neighbors get louder with their entertainment.

AK: Time for the New York Harbor show!
Us: w00t!
AK: *lights NYHS*
NYHS: *ssssss, deep fwoomp, followed by a loud boom and a huge explosion of color*
NYHS: *audibly raining ash and little bits all around*
Us: *stunned at the size of the explosion of color*  DOOD!!  That was awesome!!
Neighbors: O.O
Neighbors: *humbled*  WTF do they have?!
Us: laugh.
Neighbors: *Stand in yard and watch.*
Neighbors: *Light more for a very loud finale*

I imagine the NYHS and its counterparts were something akin to what a small municipality would set off for its residents to enjoy.  Yeah.

I hope all of you had a safe and happy Independece Day!