I’ve recently been getting reacquainted with an Aunt and Uncle that I haven’t had much contact with in nearly 20 years. I think it’s awesome.
A few days after our last meet up, I was with my mother. She’s not into it. She spent a lot of time telling me of things my Aunt and Uncle did to make her and my dad upset. The last serious infraction was in 1991.
My parents find fault with anything and everything. If their food order at a restaurant comes out wrong, they’ll suffer through it instead of sending it back, and then complain about it for the next couple of weeks. They’re not close with many people; they have little social life. They’re the type who can sit in a roomful of people and not attempt to talk to a single one, and then complain that no one spoke with them. Talking to them is getting a report on who-did-what to them and what is going wrong; serious conversations or sharing opinion on, say, national issues or global happenings, is never an option.
My aunt and uncle are a lot more like me and Adam – active with friends, entertaining, and hobbies. They’re easier to be around. You can have conversations. You can share wine.
I’ve decided that losing 20 years of time with my aunt is ridiculous and I really want to move on. So is she. We talked about it and were in complete agreement in that whatever is/was we don’t care – move forward. Now that I really think of it, I don’t believe the grudge against them, perpetuated for a time be me, was ever really mine to hold. I don’t care what happened 34 years ago (25 years ago. X years ago.) It’s over. Losing 20 years of *my* relationship with my aunt has been “punishment” enough for my parents’ choice of holding onto that negativity. And I don’t care what they think of my choice.
My parents had their feelings hurt, several times. Guess what? It happens. You can either forgive, move on, and seek happiness, or hold onto that negativity and let it make you bitter and resentful. It really is your choice.
I don’t understand what good comes from a grudge like this. I’ve quit associating with people because of what they’ve done to me, but I’ve went on and made more friends. I made my choice and continued with my life in a more positive direction. I’m doing that again. Does it make me crazy to want to forget what I heard happened via one-sided story, start anew, and enjoy what time I have left with my aunt and uncle?!